Dilwale “DILWALE” is a bizarre mishmash! In an attempt to please everyone, director Rohit Shetty tries to push in just about everything in this extremely flimsy plot. The result is a combination of contrived action, phoney romance, juvenile comedy and artificial visuals, which makes the experience of watching this film like having a buffet of junk food, that neither satiates, nor sustains. Justifying its title, you need to be a big “Dilwala” to sit through this film The story is about the children of two competing families, who meet, fall in love, but separate and how their story repeats itself after a 15-year separation. Yes, the plot is as freaky as it sounds above and as disoriented as the trailer promised. There is no head or tail to the proceedings and the events are incredibly disjointed. The screenplay is rushed through, and nowhere does it feel like an integrated unit. The humor is engaging, but puerile to say the least. Action sequences are as manipulative as they could get, with the trademark Rohit Shetty shots of flying cars and stupid antagonists. Promoted essentially as an eternal love story, it’s sad how unconvincing the chemistry is between the leads. Even the overhyped comeback of Shahrukh-Kajol is as cold as a stone. The fact is that there exists no real substance behind all the hoopla that the film DILWALE is. Intended to delight our eyepieces, the set-pieces look extremely fake. To add to the misery, even the content is so poor that the film fails to bind you for its long runtime of nearly quarter to three hours. Even a little bit of sense could’ve brought credibility to the unabashed nature of the franchise, considering it is a Rohit Shtty film after all. Alas, even that is too much to ask for here. The songs are the only saving grace in this film that’s beautified by artificiality. The performances need very little analysis here, as writing anything about them would be sheer waste of time – both mine and yours. Shahrukh Khan overplays in a character that’s basically what he has been playing over the years again and again. Kajol is balanced and beautiful, but is constrained by the quality of content in hand. Varun Dhawan looks lively, but that’s all what was needed of him, nothing more. Kriti Sanon appears briefly every few minutes, but looks pretty throughout. All others in the supporting cast just clown around for reasons best known to their mindful (read “mindless”) director. In all, “DILWALE” is a hotchpotch of whatever came to director Shetty’s mind while making the film. Nothing in the film makes sense and is best treated if unwatched. Notwithstanding how much you love SRK or his pairing with Kajol, stay away!