Kaalakaandi KAALAKAANDI is unfunny and pointless! With this black comedy, writer/director Akshat Verma (of “Delhi-Belly” fame) tries to create humour from the insanely awry situations that the characters find themselves in, totally unintentionally. However, narrated through an extremely sloppy script, the film quickly shifts into the zone of boredom. The best way to enjoy this film is to watch it when you’re high on the substances that this film talks about. Avoidable! The story plays out in 12 hours, with six characters from different worlds, from urban, ambitious upwardly mobile Bombay and its dark, neglected under-belly. In this dark tale, the lives of complete strangers intersect for a few frantic moments and lead to consequences not just improbable but extraordinary. The intent of the film makes deep sense. It talks about those messy times when fates intertwine, destinies bump into each other, and chaotic ironies result, but in the end, order is restored by a beautiful stroke of poetic justice. Alas, all this is narrated in the most tedious way possible. Akshat Verma’s imagination needs applause, but his execution falters and how. The screenplay gets tiring just a few minutes into the movie and even a runtime of just 110 minutes seems awfully long. The characters are interestingly cut out and even the packaging is of top quality. However, the multiple storylines get more and more unmanageable as the film progresses and as a viewer, you start losing interest in the developments. Saif Ali Khan is the sole binding force of this otherwise scattered script. He showcases his craft in the most authentic way and steals the show. How I wish it was for a better cause. The remaining cast does its job well, but eventually no one really shines exceptionally. In all, I would like to reiterate that “KAALAKAANDI” is a film about people who are high on substances, and can be enjoyed only if you’re high on substances as well. If you’re not, please stay away from this.